Being a Mom

I can remember the day I discovered I was pregnant with my first child. I was 24, not married, working for an apartment complex, and I had just started dating the father of my baby. (Well, we'd been together for about two months by the time I found out.) I was absolutely MORTIFIED!!! The thought of telling my parents that I was pregnant was disgusting to me... But, I had to lie in the bed I had made for myself.

Anyway, I couldn't figure out why I kept getting sick. My roommate suggested that I take a pregnancy test. "Yea right," I said. DUH! Of course there was a chance I was pregnant... I was a drug user, a drinker (probably close to becoming an alcoholic had I continued down that path, or worse), and I had what I now believe to be a sexual addiction. I was not a happy person. I remember knowing all the jokes and being the life of the party. I remember how much fun I used to have. But I also remember how I would cry myself to sleep at night; I was lonely and I was convicted daily by the Holy Spirit for the sins I had committed. I have no doubt that my pregnancy saved my life; that meeting Jeff saved my life.

The night I met him, Jeff was enjoying a night out for the first time since his divorce from his first wife. It had only been two months or so since the papers had been signed and filed in the courts! He probably wasn't ready for a serious relationship, but I knew when I met him that he was the one for me. As usual, I took things way too fast and I didn't bother to date in the old-fashioned sense of the word. ('Course, Jeff didn't either.) He was just as scared as I was and he even tried to ignore me and avoid me for about a month after I told him I was pregnant. But he came to his senses... :o)

As the old saying goes, the rest is history... We have Peyton and Brittany now and Jeff and I have been married for over 11 years. In that time, I've learned a lot about myself, a lot about Jeff, and even more about the love of God! Children are a blessing, a gift, and we're not guaranteed that they will be with us forever. However, when we are entrusted with such a precious gift, we should want to do everything in our power to care for that gift! :o)

Thank you, God, for the gift of my husband, and the gifts of my children. Thank you for entrusting them to my care and for believing that I am capable and strong enough to do so.